Recapturing What Once Was
by Caz251
Summary: When Justin ends up in hospital Brian is there for him when he needs him. Post-Bashing. Recovered Memories. Slight Ethan Bashing.


After rereading Edom's fic Anniversary this morning I thought about what would have happened at some point if after leaving Brian Justin ended up in hospital Brian held his POA. The thought sort of spiralled and here we are 5800 words later.

Jennifer Taylor rushed into to the waiting room of Allegheny General looking around frantically for someone she recognised. Ethan was standing off to the side of the room looking lost and she rushed over to him.

"What happened?" She asked him, "What have the Doctors said?"

Ethan stared at her for a moment before speaking, "They won't tell me anything. He was fine working on a sketch and then his hand started hurting, he said something about a headache and then he collapsed. I brought him here but they won't tell me anything, why won't they tell me anything."

Jennifer just nodded at him, turning away from him and striding towards the desk intent on getting some answers about her son. When she got the receptionists attention she gave her details over asking to speak with someone about her son's condition. She was informed that a Doctor would be with her soon and that she should take a seat. She took a seat next to Ethan and waited impatiently for the Doctor to appear, all the while trying to ignore Ethan complaining about the fact that the Doctors wouldn't speak to him.

When the Doctor arrived Jennifer recognised him as one of the specialists that had worked with Justin after the bashing and was slightly relieved to see a familiar face as much as she was worried about why she was being spoken to by a neurologist.

"Mrs Taylor, Justin is stable, however I am unable to give you any more information at the moment before speaking with his partner, however I have been unable to reach him." The Doctor spoke, confusing Jennifer.

"This is Justin's boyfriend Ethan, I don't understand why you would need to speak with him first though, Justin is my son." Jennifer replied.

The Doctor looked at Ethan for a second before turning back to Jennifer, "I meant Mr Kinney Mrs Taylor, he holds Justin's Power of Attorney and as such it is imperative I speak with him first. I have been unable to contact him so far and was wondering if you could assist."

Jennifer felt stunned, Brian held Justin's POA, since when? She didn't know why Justin wouldn't have told her that he had given Brian his POA and she wondered when he had signed the paperwork. It had to have been after he had gotten out of the hospital the last time as she certainly held his POA then. She had been the one making all the decisions for Justin at the time and it had been her decision that Brian stay away, perhaps that was why they had signed the paperwork and hadn't told her, so that she would never be able to keep Brian away from Justin if he was ill or injured. She nodded and informed the Doctor that she would contact him and get him there as soon as possible.

Jennifer left the waiting room to make the call, but just like the hospital she had no luck on reaching Brian on his cell. She didn't have his phone number at Vanguard and for a moment she considered calling Debbie, but realised that if neither Brian or Justin had mentioned the change of POA they obviously didn't want a big deal made of it, especially now that they weren't together, and that's what Debbie would make of it.

Instead she phoned Daphne, Jennifer herself was not willing to leave the hospital, but she knew that Daphne would want to know what was going on and she would be able to go to Vanguard to inform Brian and then could come with him to the hospital. She explained the situation and Daphne was completely willing to go and corral Mr Kinney. All she could do now was wait until they arrived so she made her way back inside and retook her seat next to Ethan. He was muttering away to himself about Justin's POA and the whore not being able to do what was best for Justin. Jennifer said nothing, knowing that when it came to medical decisions Brian would always put Justin's best interests first, but not wanting to get into it with Ethan. She just hoped that Daphne and Brian weren't long she wanted to know what was happening with Justin and she would be glad to not be stuck alone with Ethan as she felt she had even less she could say to him than Brian.

x

Brian had just finished shaking hands with the client, the signed contract sat on the table in front of him ready to be sent to the legal department to process, when the door to the conference room burst open and Daphne Chanders rushed inside, followed closely by Cynthia.

"I'm sorry Brian, she got away from me." Cynthia apologised and then began to usher the client out of the room, knowing that I would want them out of the situation before Daphne began whatever tirade she was here to throw at me.

I looked at Daphne, she certainly didn't look angry, so I obviously hadn't done anything to piss her off majorly, I wondered why she was here and what was so important that she stormed in on one of my client meetings. I was about to start to ream her out for interrupting when she spoke.

"Justin's in hospital, they will only speak to you and your not answering your phone." Daphne told him, the worry on her face now completely apparent to him.

His chastisement of her died on his tongue as he made his way to the door, heading straight for his office. He picked his phone up from his desk and noted the missed calls before grabbing his briefcase and shouting for Cynthia. He told her to cancel all his appointments for the rest of the day and that if Vance asked he had a family emergency before he led Daphne out of the building to his new car.

"Allegheny?" Brian asked as they got in the car and once he had gotten an affirmative answer he set off in the direction of the hospital. It was the quickest he had ever driven he was sure, the whole trip his mind coming up with various scenarios as to what was wrong with Justin, each as horrible each other.

When they got to the hospital he got out the car telling Daphne to park it and that he'd be inside. He wondered what he was thinking, he knew she had passed her test, but trusting Justin's Hag with his precious Corvette he really must be worried. He put the thought of his car out of his mind as he made his way into the hospital. He found Jennifer and greeted her quickly, throwing a nod and a quick 'Ian' in the fiddler's direction before insisting on speaking with Justin's doctor.

It wasn't long before the neurologist who had worked with Justin the last time was leading him away from the waiting room and towards the room that Justin was in. Brian took the seat next to Justin's bed the younger man was asleep, most likely a drug induced sleep and his hand was gnarled resting on his stomach. Brian automatically reached for the hand and began massaging it as he had done many times in the past hoping to give Justin some relief.

"We think that Justin's memories are resurfacing." The neurologist opened with, ripping the band aid off immediately. "From what he was able to tell us when he came round and from the scans that we have taken it looks like he has been having headaches for a while. Without knowing more I can only guess, but I am assuming that he has been overworking his hand leading to the pain and the headaches that he was warned about. We have him on some pain medication just now for both the headache and the pain in his hand but this is just a short term measure."

"So what do we do for him?" Brian asked, realising that they weren't going to be keeping Justin in the hospital long, that there wasn't anything really physically an issue as such.

The Doctor gave him his recommendations which had included lots of rest, resuming of his physical therapy and perhaps talking with a psychiatrist about his memories. Brian took all the advice on board, wondering how he was going to convince Justin to follow the Doctors recommendations. He also gave the doctor permission to speak with Jennifer and explain the situation to her, and the Doctor left to do just that.

Brian continued his massage of Justin's hand watching him as he slept, his missed him and couldn't help but wonder if this would be happening if Justin had never left him for the fiddler. He wouldn't have allowed Justin to push himself so that he ended up in hospital. Brian just took in the sight of him in the bed and wondered if he could make things right between them again. He knew that Justin wanted flowers and romance but he knew that wasn't what or who Brian was. He had thought that they had covered all there ridiculous romanticism with prom, but then Justin hadn't remembered so Brian had made another gesture to show him that he loved him. It was as much a outwardly expression of his love for Justin his turning up to prom had been, this was much more private. He had convinced Justin after he was out of hospital that they should hold each other's Power of Attorney in case something ever happened to them they wouldn't be kept away from each other. Justin had agreed and had signed the forms, they had also signed partnership documents at the same time, although Brian wasn't sure Justin realised exactly what he was signing.

Now though Brian knew that it was going to all come out, Jennifer would be there soon asking about the change of the Power of Attorney and then they would all know what they had done. Brian knew that he should have really discussed it with Justin, but he had wanted the paperwork signed before anything else had a chance to go wrong. He had intended to tell Justin about it all when they went to Vermont, but Vance taking over the agency had meant that he had to prove his worth and Justin had gone to Vermont without him. He had realised when he got back and Justin had gone without him that perhaps it would be better to let Justin go, to let him pursue the things he wanted which obviously wasn't really Brian. So he had done just that, he hadn't followed Justin to Vermont, instead he called and cancelled some arrangements he had made for his grand gesture number three and had waited for Justin to return. He had then begun to push Justin away a little at a time, not wanting the other man to be able to hurt him. He didn't tell him about the plans that he had made for them to have a civil union in Vermont, or that they had already signed documents in Pennsylvania that had them as close to married as they could be, he didn't want to know what his reaction would be. He had just sat back and watched as he left with the fiddler and once he was gone he had broken a little more inside.

He would never admit to anyone how often he would pull their paperwork out of his briefcase just to look at their signatures on the only documents still tying him to Justin. He definitely wouldn't admit to spending time looking at the two rings that he also kept in his briefcase, the one place he knew Mikey wouldn't snoop through. He wasn't a dickless fag, and he didn't want his Liberty Avenue family finding out about his weakness in this, especially as he and Justin weren't together anymore. He wondered if he could swear Jennifer to silence, but then again she was probably going to be annoyed at him for having technically eloped with her baby.

x

Jennifer walked into Justin's room, glad to see him and that he wasn't in any real danger. She had been worried, when Ethan had called her the first thoughts had been of getting to the hospital, but then her thoughts had been about what had happened to her son this time and whether she was going to almost lose him again. Brian was sat at Justin's side, massaging his hand whether consciously or not she didn't know.

"How is he?" She asked quietly not wanting to wake Justin or destroy the calm that seemed to have settled over room.

"The tension seems to be lessening in his hand." Brian informed her, making her aware that he knew what he was doing with Justin's hand and was doing it specifically rather than just to comfort himself. "They have him on some good meds, so he will probably sleep for a good couple of hours more. Ask what you want to know."

Jennifer smiled, trust Brian to just cut through all the bullshit and make her get to what she wanted to talk about. She would have spent time trying to make small talk first, but that just wasn't Brian's way.

"When did you and Justin change your Power of Attorneys?" She asked, knowing that he must have changed his as well, there was no way Justin would have given Brian his POA unless it was a reciprocal agreement.

"When he got out of hospital and he was back at the loft I had my lawyer draw up some paperwork and we signed it." Brian told her.

"Does he know?" Jennifer asked, she had listened when the Doctor had called Brian Justin's partner, she just wasn't sure if her son knew exactly what he had done.

"No." Brian stated simply, "No-one else does either, and it should stay that way."

Jennifer wavered, she could understand him not wanting to tell anyone else right now, especially as they weren't actually together anymore, but he should tell Justin. This was the type of commitment that Justin had wanted from Brian and he had it, he just didn't realise it, if he had Jennifer was sure that Ethan would never have even been a consideration for him let alone an issue in his and Brian's relationship.

"You have to tell him." Jennifer reasoned, especially if they weren't getting back together again, Justin had to know in case he tried to make a commitment to someone else.

He just nodded at her not speaking and she could tell that he was formulating a plan. It didn't take a genius to realise he loved and missed her son and was probably regretting ever letting him walk away. He just had to figure out what it was that he was going to do to get him back. Jennifer found herself hoping that he managed it, she had realised recently that Brian and Justin were probably it for each other. Justin tried to pretend that he was happy with Ethan, but Jennifer thought it seemed forced, his feelings seemed all wrong, it was all fake, it wasn't a happy relationship no matter what Justin tried to pretend.

The fact that Ethan was sat in the waiting room complaining about the fact that Brian was Justin's POA and that Justin hadn't changed it to him as soon as they got together, despite the fact that Justin didn't hold his said a lot about the relationship. Mainly that Ethan realised that he would always have to compete with the memories and the presence of Brian Kinney. He was more annoyed at Brian and the fact that he was with Justin just now than he was worried about Justin or his condition.

Jennifer had never been so grateful to see a doctor as when she had been told she could go and see Justin. She did feel a bit bad that she had left poor Daphne with him, but she knew the girl could take care of herself and would probably just ignore Ethan anyway, from what Jennifer had seen Daphne didn't care much for him either.

Deciding to give Brian some time to formulate what would probably be his most important personal campaign to date she spoke quietly as she got ready to leave. "I have to go and pick up Molly, are you staying?"

When he nodded she smiled at him slightly. "I'll take Daphne with me and fill her in. I'm sure that Ethan will still be in the waiting room, but they won't let him back here without your permission." With that she turned towards the door and headed back out towards the waiting room leaving Brian alone with his thoughts and her son, his partner.

x

Daphne was anxious as she sat in the hospital waiting room, she had never wanted to be sat here waiting about Justin ever again, once in her life was bad enough, but at least then she had been surrounded by others all worrying about the outcome the same as she was. This time she was stuck with Ethan and he was no comfort to her whatsoever, he didn't even seem to be worrying about what was wrong with Justin. He was more annoyed about the Power of Attorney thing, and the fact that Brian was with Justin and not him.

Daphne just wanted him to shut up, she wasn't in the mood to listen to him go on about how Brian wasn't enough for Justin, how the whore of Liberty Avenue would never be enough for Justin as he couldn't be romantic or give him the things Ethan did. Daphne wanted to scream at him, to tell him exactly how romantic Brian Kinney really was and all the things he would give Justin that in her opinion were more important than picnics on the floor. She couldn't though, Brian would never forgive her and things were strained enough already, she was Justin's hag, but she liked to think that she had become Brian's friend as well and she wasn't about to jeopardise that to get Ethan to shut up. There was also the fact that it felt wrong to discuss with Ethan a night so important and intimate, especially when Justin himself couldn't remember it.

She decided to just ignore him in the hopes that he would be quiet for a while, but she doubted that he would be. She was right and he continued to rant and rave to himself about Brian. Daphne just continued to sit in silence, watching for either Jennifer or Brian to come back into the waiting room to tell her what was happening, she doubted that Ethan was even aware of anyone but himself and his ranting.

When Jennifer returned she caught her eye and gestured towards the doors. Daphne stood, trying not to draw Ethan's attention to her and made her way over to Jennifer who smiled at her. "He's okay, he's asleep just now, he's been experiencing pain in his hand and headaches, and the doctors think that the memories of prom are resurfacing."

Daphne tried to contain a squeal at that, she knew how much Justin had hated not remembering, and she was pretty sure that it was part of the reason that he had left Brian in the first place he couldn't remember how much the other man loved him. Her thoughts must have shown on her face as Jennifer just smiled at her.

"Brian's staying with him, I need to go and pick up Molly. I said I'd take you with me, we can bring him back some food later." Jennifer told her.

Daphne glanced quickly towards Ethan and realised that he had yet to notice that she had moved. She nodded once and started to move towards the exit before she stopped and made her way to the reception desk instead. She spoke quickly with the receptionist asking her to let Mr Kinney know that she had his keys and she would bring them back with her later. She had considered leaving them with the receptionist to return them, but realised he would probably prefer her to keep a hold of them than to pass them off to a stranger even for a short period of time. She then followed Jennifer to her car and away from the hospital. She just hoped that Brian would take the opportunity to try and fix his relationship with Justin.

x

When Justin woke up he knew that he wasn't at Ethan's immediately as he felt Brian's hand holding his and knew that the other man wouldn't be caught dead in Ethan's apartment. At the same time he knew that he wasn't at the loft, if they were at the loft Brian would be curled around him, not just holding his hand. It wasn't long after that thought that he realised that he was in hospital and wondered what had happened.

"Brian, what's going on? Why am I in hospital?" Justin asked.

"What do you remember?" Brian asked in almost a whisper.

Justin thought for a couple of minutes trying to remember what had happened. He'd worked a shift at the diner that morning and then gone back to Ethan's after his morning classes. Ethan had been practising and he was sketching, and then his hand had started to play up and his head had begun to throb. He remembered blackness and then flashes of images, he vaguely remembered speaking with a doctor, but he couldn't remember what they had spoken about.

"I passed out." Justin stated calmly.

"Yep." Brian replied, "Ian brought you here and called your mom. She and Daphne went to pick up Molly and bring back some food knowing them."

Justin knew that Brian was trying to stall and avoid telling him what was happening with him, he wouldn't be talking about Ethan, his mom and food otherwise. "What's going on with me Brian?"

Brian took a deep breath before speaking, "The doctors think that your memories of prom are resurfacing. You spoke to one of the doctors earlier and from what you told them that's what they think is happening. That and you are pushing yourself too hard. Your neurologist is recommending lots of rest, he wants you to cut back a bit, he also wants you to resume physiotherapy for your hand and he's going to speak to you about a shrink."

Justin lay back against his pillow thinking for a minute in silence, he had longed for the memories of prom, he wanted to know exactly how he and Brian were that night, how he felt, not what Daphne or Brian had told him, but his experience. It seemed odd now though the thoughts and memories of the most romantic night of his life resurfacing when he was no longer with Brian, but with Ethan, it was unfair.

"I don't want to go to some shrinks office and lie on his couch and spill out my thoughts and feelings." Justin stated as soon as he had gathered his thoughts, knowing that Brian would agree with him on that and would help him avoid it.

Brian snorted, "I didn't think you would, but I know someone who would be willing to meet at Woody's for a chat or he could come to the loft if you didn't want to speak to him in public."

Justin just stared at Brian in shock, whether because the man was somewhat advocating for therapy or that he was offering Justin the use of the loft for said therapy sessions, he wasn't really sure. He just nodded in a way that he knew Brian would understand, he would think about it but he wasn't promising anything.

"We should let the doctors know you are awake." Brian said before he left the room to alert a nurse to Justin's current situation.

Justin paid very little attention to what the doctor was saying to him, knowing that Brian was listening and would fill him in on the important things. When the doctor left he mentioned he would send his visitors back to see him. It was when Ethan walked through the door with his mom, sister and Daphne that he realised that his hand was still in Brian's the man having continued his massage throughout the conversation with the doctor.

He smiled at Brian as he loosened the grip they hand on each other's hand as Ethan barrelled across the room towards him. He was babbling away about powers of attorney and not being allowed in to see him and Justin began to zone out. He turned his attention back to the conversation in time to hear Ethan mention wanting to bring his violin in to play for him and both Brian and Daphne snorting at the idea.

"Isn't that just ridiculously romantic." Daphne sneered, and Justin was about to ask her what was wrong with her, she seemed to be less tolerant of Ethan every time she met him, when her words triggered something.

He went still as flashes of memories assaulted him and as he came back to himself he found they were all hovering around him and he had a tear running down his cheek. His hand was once again in Brian's and he was trying to be as inconspicuous to the rest of the group as possible.

"It was the best night." Justin spoke quietly, knowing that Brian would understand his words even if the others didn't. "I'm sorry I forgot when I said I wouldn't."

Daphne let out a small squeal having realised exactly what had just happened before grabbing hold of Justin and Brian's free hands and holding on to them for dear life. "I'm so happy."

Justin smiled at her and he could see a small smile directed at her from Brian as well. Justin knew that she was, she wanted him to recover his memories of that night, as he knew she felt a bit guilty that she remembered the love between him and Brian in their dance and he couldn't remember it. He could now though, and it crushed him. Brian had shown him exactly who he was and what he felt for him that evening and then when Justin couldn't remember he had treated that love as insignificant because Brian wasn't telling him he was loved, or acting in a typically romantic way.

x

Brian couldn't believe it, he had considered it earlier when the doctor had mentioned it, but he hadn't really believed it would ever happened, but it had. Justin remembered prom, he remembered Brian's first real grand gesture and he knew that he would have to inform him of the second one that he had made soon before Jennifer blabbed to him. He may even have to admit to his third grand gesture that never happened in order to get him to come home.

He smiled at Daphne, knowing that she was as glad and relieved as he was that Justin finally remembered, glad in a way that their forged bond of being the two who remembered wasn't forever. They would still have a connection, but now they all knew what happened that night, he didn't even sneer or even really blink when Daphne suggested that the three of them should do a small re-enactment just the three of them to make sure that Justin's memory was complete.

"How's your head?" Brian asked, making sure that Justin's remembrance hadn't hurt him anymore than he all ready was.

When Justin told him that he was okay he just squeezed his fingers a little before going back to massaging the hand as if he was unwilling to let him go. "We need to talk."

Justin nodded and was about to say something when the doctor returned, looking rather startled about the number of people in the small room. He insisted that everyone but Justin and his partner return to the waiting room so that he could do some final checks of Justin before releasing him.

Brian remained where he was sat his hold on Justin not lessening, but Ian had also remained, or had tried to until the doctor had gotten forceful and removed him. Justin hadn't seemed to mind and Brian was wondering if he was realising now what a mistake the fiddler was. The doctor did his checks and was happy enough to release Justin but not without a parting comment that Brian knew was about to open a whole can of worms.

"I know he is probably a good friend, but you shouldn't let him interfere in your marriage."

Justin had just sat stunned staring at the doctor retreating back as he went to sort the paperwork for Justin's release and then turned to stare at Brian.

Brian let out a deep sigh and for once in his life wished that Justin had a doctor who was a homophobic prick who would have just ignored their paperwork. He reached into his briefcase and pulled out the papers that they had signed, handing them to Justin to read. There were the papers for the Power of Attorney, papers declaring a domestic partnership and papers regarding the transferral of all of Brian's assets into both of their names.

Brian could tell that Justin was stunned, and unsure about what to do. He was pretty sure that he would be getting angry about everything though. Angry that Brian had him sign the documents without talking about it first, angry at himself for not reading through them and realising what Brian was asking of him, and angry that Brian had never told him about them being as close to married as they could be under current laws. He had wanted a commitment from Brian and he had it all along, he was just unaware of it.

Brian didn't know what Justin would do now that he knew, he hoped that he wouldn't go back to the fiddler, but if he did Brian had the beginning of a plan in his head to convince him to come home to him. He took the paperwork back refilling it away in his briefcase when the doctor returned with Justin's discharge papers. Brian had then escorted Justin back to where everyone was waiting for him, Daphne came up to him and gave him his car keys and he thanked her with a friendly peck on her cheek just like he had done when he stole her date at prom all those nights ago.

"We need to talk." Justin repeated Brian's words from earlier.

Brian nodded, thinking for a minute trying to find the right words for what he wanted to say. "I'll meet you at home. Later."

"Later." Justin called out to him as Brian walked away from the group to find wherever Daphne had parked his car. He drove back to the loft, already beginning to think of it as home again for the first time since Justin had left.

x

Justin sat in the back seat of his mom's car sandwiched between Ethan and Daphne ignoring Ethan, not wanting to get into the conversation that he knew that they had to have in front of his little sister, and carrying out a silent conversation with Daphne. His mom dropped them off outside of Ethan's building and extracted a promise from him to call her later once he had spoken with Brian.

He had a feeling that she knew about them, and realised that she must have found out earlier that day, as she would have told him if she had known. He hadn't even told her about the Power of Attorney, so she had probably confronted Brian at some point earlier in the day. It amused him in a way how Brian was still intimidated by his mother.

Daphne the wonderful fag hag that she was had his back as always. As soon as they were in Ethan's apartment she had excused herself to the bathroom in order to grab his duffle bag and clothes from the bedroom while he spoke with Ethan and gathered the few art supplies that he had lying around.

He wasn't surprised that Ethan didn't take the fact that he was leaving and going back to Brian well. Especially as Justin wasn't really willing to explain everything he had learnt that day. He had never spoken to Ethan about the prom and his lack of memory about it, all he knew about his hand was that he was injured and didn't have full control of it. If he hadn't felt like telling him his history while they were in a relationship he certainly wasn't going to tell him about it as he left. His partnership with Brian wasn't something he was willing to discuss either, not until he had spoken to Brian about it properly, even Daphne would have to wait for the gossip on that one.

Ethan tried to plead with him that Brian would never love him like he did, and Justin had just agreed, explaining that was what he had realised, he had realised the ways in which Brian would love him, and that they were more important to him and more fulfilling than any picnic on the floor would ever be.

Daphne had carried his bag for him, watching him warily as they walked to Brian's, or rather his and Brian's, loft obviously still worried about him after his short stay in hospital. She had left him there with his bag before going home, knowing that he would be okay from there.

Entering the loft it was to the sight of Brian sat on the bed in just the black Armani trousers he had been sat at his bedside in drinking from a bottle of guava juice. Justin was a bit surprised that it wasn't Beam, but he wasn't going to complain. He closed and locked the door behind him, dumping his bag down on the floor before making his way to the bedroom, stripping so that he was in just his jeans before climbing onto the bed beside Brian.

Brian pulled him into his arms, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. "We'll speak in the morning Sunshine. Get some sleep."

Justin wanted to protest, to insist that they speak then in case Brian tried to shrug everything off in the morning, but regardless of the fact that it wasn't that late he was exhausted. He felt himself slipping into sleep as Brian curled himself around him protectively. He allowed himself to relax, maybe everything would work out okay. He was home now, in Brian's arms, everything would work itself out, for now he was happy.


End file.
